What If

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Poems

Let me plunge into the abyss, headlong,
let me fight the current with my bare arms,
let the vicious predators fall behind,
frozen and pale from the fear of unknown
and I shall pierce through the mantle and the core
to emerge on the surface of the world…

Let me soar across the chameleon sky
as high up as the swirling wind can go,
let the winged predators give up the chase,
being breathless and by the sun rendered blind
and I shall fly across the continents,
dense, empty and across the oceans, blue…

Let me roam alone in a desert realm
where soothing shadows thick enough to breathe
are more precious than a mine full of gold,
let me there sow the seeds of tender love
and watch them grow into green, moist leaves
drowning the vast sea of dry sand beneath…

But in the end when these cravings…

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A Heart Blue, White and Green

For my Saraswati

   

I see the outline of your face
where the tree lines converge on the sky,
the shape of a heart, painted blue, white and green!
Tried to see through your eyes that saw the frame
but all I smelled was the soft queen of spade
in your veins, my dear goddess of enlightenment! 

I tried so hard but mortal eyes can never see
what you framed with ease and a graceful piety!
But tell me please, what lies after that turn ahead!
And should I feel ecstatic or in grief be sad?

Come on now and be my light that you truly are!
Come on and burn down the dome of my sepulcher,
where my feelings and love of spirits are entombed!
Please come and take my hand to save me from this doom!

  

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Image Credit: Soumya

At The Golden Gate

 

The chant that I keep hearing at
the golden gate of my dreams says,
“O God, let them see through my face,
let them see the real me, my worthlessness!”
  

Then a voice roars, asking me, “Tell us why?”
My heart stops beating for a while
at the suddenness and how far the voice
penetrates my soul and me!
    

“I have pushed too much far away
by myself alone, have acted on
too many roles until yesterday”,
the chant in vigor starts again,
“but how many oceans I still must sail
before, for once and all, I can sleep in the sand?”

   
 “Be with them, ” now the voice cries, “the dreamers,
scattered across the yonder vale!”
The din is so loud that I am impaled on it,
waking me from sleep with a shudder, in a fit
as my heart takes over the raw nerves of my brain,
I retort, o no please God, if not you, leave me alone!

  

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A Synthesis

      

Why do I lose my sleep time and again,
despite being burned relentlessly,
with no shred of guilt or remorse?
Why do I seek fulfillment in a face,
despite being scorned so brazenly,
when my love was humble or too meek?

   

Why do I lose my sleep on endless nights,
for things both supposedly great and small,
as dust like as my feelings and the world?
Why in those eyes I come across my destiny?

    

In the end, after the desserts and life,
after three thousand years of wondering,
all I know is that I know nothing, save we come
from a place to where in death we all must return!

    

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A Lunatic’s Life

I have no strings attached to life,
I do not know if it’s a weakness or a strength!

In the beginning with the world I tried
but all I shed was my blood and tears too!
The world seemed full of lust and greed and ignorance,
with no spirits but the organs and libidos!

Then I tied the knots with the sun, I think
or thought I did but O, the arrogance,
evaporating my strings in a flash,
leaving me to drift through the universe!

So, all I am left with now is the moon,
both the world beneath the sun and the sun at nights!
This time I know, this is my strength,
for one needs no strings to live a lunatic’s life!

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