So it seems, does it not,
that for each and every dream
there are countless nightmares
ready to invade cherished reality
but still we cling onto that rare
glimpse of light in the face
of an overwhelming darkness!
I wonder why, when even reason speaks against
such fancy dreams on both the odds and history,
we keep on cherishing our fantasies!
Perhaps, I have heard a saying, don’t know if it’s true,
those that think they can are the ones that mostly do!
As the maddening voices fade away,
is it silence or insanity, I wonder,
creeping in, instead? If I had a lake
to look into its softly cascading water,
what would have greeted my weary human eyes?
A madman or a Narcissus, perhaps!
Was it because I kept on asking why,
over and over again? I confess,
nothing was ever granted for me in life,
except the urge to explore relentless
the borders and the continents of human souls –
their varied plains, meadows, hills and countless river streams!
But once I saw those contrasts were more feigned than natural,
life soon became a nightmare that started as a cozy dream!
Dedicated to Ruth
Though I have only sowed the seeds of dream,
I end up reaping nightmares all the time!
Perhaps cruel Fate has ordained my life so
but it has also willed me to become
soft as water, so I can only rise
when one tries to push me down a rabbit hole!
Is it a curse or a blessing in disguise?
My honest answer is, I do not know!
I have sought the answer from the mountains
of the world, some a silent witness to
rise and falls, stretching across millennia
while some, the very birth of humankind
and their exodus from the motherland
but they remained as silent as they were!
So I hurled the question to the oceans,
that are more ancient than the mountain peaks,
so they might have said something in response
but their words were drowned in the cleaving groans!
Once the earth has failed thus to answer me,
I shifted my focus to the heaven’s eyes,
all those twinkling diamond specks that you see
across the vast, cloudless hood of the night!
One of them, almost as old as the universe,
took pity and said this, in soft, audible whispers,
“O brave soul, your efforts deserve a loud applause
but you’ll know the truth only if you can find the First Cause!”
Well, we can reverse what we feel,
it’s the memory that’s too hard to kill!
I sent mine to the gate of Tartarus
but found it back again in my nightmares,
haunting me as the three headed beast!
Then I tried killing mine with my bare hands,
that had moved mountains in their prime,
while they perished, the memory remained!
Then I thought perhaps poison would suffice
but no, cunning memory had a trick
up its sleeve, an antidote of some sort
and in short, memory survived!
Startled, I often rise up from sleep,
with my limbs trembling and sweat drenched
but my throat turned too sore and dry,
choked as if by the soot of fear,
in the throes of a tragic dream,
a dreadful and haunting nightmare,
borne by past follies or tomorrow’s loss,
too pale and numb and shaken to my core!
The former kinds keep chasing us
like the Furies in Orestes,
to avenge Clytemnestra’s death,
while the latter, always taunting
that we might lose our dearest things –
be it affluence, power, life, love or fame!
If we could stop worrying for the future
and let go of the past for once and all,
we could have savored the heavens right here
and set the world free from Incubus, the Terrible!